It happened at Rome.

Don´t you think that it has always been easy for me to believe in Christmas, the Birth of our Redeemer´s commemoration. During my childhood, that idea of an infant God, was the most natural thing in the world. Gifts, candies, the joy of my early years, made of December a wonderful time. But, as reasoning opened our eyes, we began to think it over... it was not all happiness! In fact, we discovered that so many people never knew the slightest joy on a Christmas eve. 

Life has been kind to me, can not complain. From every turmoil, always have been able to get through. I should be thankful to life, the universe, or to God. Sometimes, I feel like destiny has chosen me for something. Ah, but despite all this, inside my heart also the doubt nests. Trying to be indulgent with myself, it is possible to think that human nature give us an implicit right to question everything. The saints and the prophets had their moments of doubt and weakness! Elijah, Peter, Thomas... even Christ also had. How can uncertainty not seize a common mortal like me, from time to time? 

As we climb the ladder of our existence and come to see the real face of life, begin to ask ourselves: can it all be merely a tale? Since the ancient times, men always celebrated winter solstice. It looks quite possible that this pagan festivity was finally taken by the early Christians, to transform it into the celebration of the Nativity of Our Lord... nothing less! It might only be a symbology. Besides, why that date was chosen, and not other? I wonder, why is not the same as Easter or the Holy Thursday and Friday, which do not a have a fixed date, every year. Why December 24th? It looks very weird, indeed. Who arranged those things in such a fanciful way? 

I also know that these "reasonable doubts" by no means are of my invention. Then, why so many persons have always been bound to hope and trust in such unlikely things? Yet, I must confess, the same happens to me: I need to believe in something! It should be added, that according to my experience, was not always possible to give a logical explanation to everything around us. Weird situations, which mainly fell over the fruitful field of the coincidences, ocurred from time to time. It makes me remember one of these odd experiences, which left me thinking. Would you like to hear that?

It happened in Rome... as usual, in an unexpected manner. Rome is a splendid city, full of stories. Particularly (maybe not everyone agrees with this), my favorite time of the year is fall and early winter, with its cold breezes. Then, we may find a shelter at a cozy restaurant or café. The boulevards, still showing their brown ochre trees; the Christmas ornaments. But above all, its stylish women, who seem to come out from a fashion show, wearing the Autumm-Winter collection of a well known designer. All this, catches my senses and hopelessly seduces me. A stroll to the Fontana de Trevi, one of those cool evenings, invites us to throw a coin into the crystal waters... hoping to come back someday. You may think is a nonsense, but I love to find the nearby gelateria and have a delicious pistachio ice cream cone. To me, it is like the taste of La Dolce Vita.

In the morning of an unforgettable day, after a lavish meal, I got on the faithful shuttle. From my lodge at Aurelia Antica, it brought me to Ottaviano, at the very downtown of Rome. Then, the subway took me towards the Coliseum. What an impression, when you climb the stairs and suddenly find it right in front, for the first time! To admire those touching ruins and to stroll along the Roman Forum and the Campidoglio as the evening falls, transport us to times of glory and declining... as few places can do. As we walk through Rome, without the sultry weather from another seasons, is possible to explore better, its endless hideaways and secrets, many of which, will never be revealed. One thing is sure: I love the Eternal City when the cool breeze caresses it. 

On the Metro again... with stops and exits to the right or the left side, anticipated by a nice female voice. Next, the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel, dazzled us with the surrounding opulence and splendor. We stared at the magnificent architecture and masterpieces, everything done with the finest materials. Is a place where the genius of Michelangelo seems to float forever. For sure, those marvels can leave many of us with our mouth open wide!

But, without noticing, an idea began to grow in my mind. As others may also think, it is very shocking to see all that luxury and beauty, right beside so much pain and misery. Those imploring beggars, prostrated and kissing our feet... coexisting next to the hypocrisy of a theatrical commiserative attitude. One thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other! Soon began my internal struggling against God, our Faith, even with myself. Which class of "high priests" rule our religion? In front of their obvious impotence to solve such a sad situation, would not be more honest to quit to the opulent life that some of those "holy men" live?

That night was difficult to sleep. I found some comfort, thinking that the "ministers of God", are only humans. Those who carry the dome of Saint Peter upon their slippery shoulders, are as imperfect or even more, than ourselves. Of course, they do not at all resemble the admirable foundation stone that Jesus chose to raise his church... Before sleep finally overcame me, my thought was: "Lord, if you really exist, I demand a signal. This rot, covered with marble and gold, is not fair. Even a slight signal, I will catch it!" A strange peacefulness took me on, and I could sleep till late morning.

After a quick breakfast, again went to walk along the city! Is impossible to get tired of Rome, and we will never be able to contemplate all its wonders. Bernini, with his almost living sculptures... how beautiful! The Empire, the Reinassance, all is there, for our delight. I am ashamed to confess that I had almost forgotten my intense insomnia of the previous night. But, some strange situations began to take place. I could not overlook, the special treatment I began to receive. The well known surly nature from the italians (I must point out that it is neither all the time, nor everyone of them) magically became a tender sweetness.

I consider myself a normal featured man, rather not so graceful. But as strange as it may seem, that day, two persons stood staring at me, more than normal. At the store first and later at a square. I could understand their words, although I don´t speak Italian very well. Both said: ---"excuse me, but could not help it, there is something familiar in your face, is so beautiful and reflects a good heart". A man and a woman who had told me almost the same, can swear it! After a little talking, I gave thanks for their kind but rather strange attitude. Of course, the second time it happened, really intrigued me. Later in the evening, on the subway once more, going to my routine Ottaviano corner... was going to happen something that I will never forget!

Immersed in my thoughts, stood while the train slowly was discounting the stations to my destiny. The subway was half crowded at that time, there were still plenty of passengers on that car. Then, a poor girl with a baby in her arms, walked straight to me. I did not ever see her begging to anyone else, for sure. Mechanically, my hand searched for some coins into my pocket. On that moment, I first noticed the face of the ragazza. What a perfect face she had! Her features seemed come out from Leonardo da Vinci´s paintbrush, or rather from Boticelli´s, even more beautiful if you ask me... Looking at her, almost made me cry, and the baby on her arms was like an angel. I thought: "God you are here, thank you!" With a graceful gesture, she expressed her gratitude and again dissapeared among the passengers. For a moment, I remained stunned. With tears in my eyes, I got off at my station, and took the shuttle to my hotel.

Naturally, my logical mind began to find varied hypothesis. All them were based on the chance, as the best explanation. But on that day, near the wonderful Christmas of the year 2008, I felt myself completely illuminated by the presence of God. If I asked Him for a manifestation, and could not see that He was beside me almost all day... would have been an incredible act of blindness and an unlimited spiritual poverty from me. I should emphasize, that it was not the first time, that those kind of hard to explain things happened to me. And I was rebel and full of doubts again, many other times. But at the end, always find the way to reconcile with God. That is something that can bring peace to me, even in the middle of the worst storm.